RE: Text Anything Dating Questions. Answers from Tara

After you get out of a relationship, can you be friends again?

I think it all depends on the break up and the people involved. I think that it is very possible to remain friends as long as things were left on a fairly good note. It might take some time but it is easier once both sides have moved on. It also takes effort since there is a past there.

What are good reasons to date in high school when your probably are not going to get married?

This is a tricky question. Many times when you date people in high school you regret it when you get older. But you do learn a lot of things, both good and bad, when dating other people about yourself and how relationships work. One thing I would see as a positive is learning how to consider and care others before yourself. This is usually easily learned in a relationship since there is a lot of give and take that happens. Truthfully you do not need to have a dating relationship to learn those things, but it is one way.

If you dated a girl for half a year and she dumped you for your best friend what do you do?

I am not sure that there is much you can do. It is obviously not a pleasant situation but sometimes you have to deal with things that are not pleasant. You should be honest with your best friend on how it makes you feel so that there is not pent up hostility towards them that they are unaware of. If you tell them that you are ok with it then they are going to assume that you are ok with it. If he is really your friend he will take your feelings into consideration.

What do you do if your friends think that you act differently around a certain girl that you like, but you feel like you dont?

There are a number of things that can be happening here. Your friend could be seeing something you do not. You could be acting differently around her but not realize it because of how you feel around her. Your friend could also just think that you act differently around her because he thinks you like her.

So are you saying its impossible to break up with someone without hurting them?

I think that there is going to be some hurt in a breakup because feelings and emotions are involved. It also depends on how long the relationship was and how much they were involved emotionally. Knowing this, when breaking up with someone you need to take their feelings into consideration and try to be sensitive during the whole thing.

Is it ok to kiss?

It really depends on the people involved. If you both are ok with kissing in that it will not lead to a place where you will regret then I think it is ok to kiss. Kissing can lead to other things, but it does not have to. If you know that you are not strong enough to resist other temptations that can come from kissing, then I would abstain from it.

If your boyfriend or girlfriend becomes way too dependent on you what do you do?

You need to set up certain boundaries when this happens. Make sure that you both have friends that you can hang out with other than each other. Set aside time where you will not be with each other. You both need to have time for yourself, if you don't then this is how dependence forms. Encourage them to hang out with their friends or family on a regular basis.

What is your favorite thing to do together?

Tim and I are very low key. We love to just spend quality time together watching movies, doing puzzels and going for walks.

How did u solve a fight?

You have to be open and host with one another. You also have to take the other person's side into consideration. Listen to them and how they feel (hopefully they will do the same in return). If you really talk it through then you will eventually work through it. Never ignore a problem. This just builds up

What if the person you want to date is either way older or way younger than you?

It is a bit relative for this question. It depends on the maturity level of both people. There could be a person who is way younger than you who fits your maturity level. From someone who has dated younger people in the past, this is not usually the case. When the age difference is too big you come to the problem where you both are in two different places in life and it becomes unrelated. However, this can happen with people the same age as well.

For the girls, What is one word that describes your boyfriends?

Inspiring.

How long have you been a Christian?

I have been a Christian for about 12 years.

What will happen if you don't have boundaries?

Not having boundaries will lead you to places that your regret and are not ready to handle physically and especially emotionally.

Has God sent a message or interfered with your relationship? What if God says he/she is not the one for you but you really think he/she is?

You should always listen to God when it comes to your relationships. He knows better than we ever will. You may think they are the one but God may have something different in mind. His ways are always better than ours will ever be. God did say that Tim and I needed to be on a break about a year ago. We listened and I believe that it was beneficial even for the short time that we were apart.

RE: Text Anything Dating Questions. Answers from Kendall

After you get out of a relationship, can you be friends again?

This question depends on the break-up. If it occurred amicably, then I believe you can be friends. However, it may take time. Depending on the depth of the hurt/sadness/anger. Be patient, time apart may be necessary before perusing a friendship.

What are good reasons to date in high school when your probably are not going to get married?
Experience!! I told myself I would never date in high school. I thought it was so silly. Why do it if you know it most likely won't be a "permanent" thing? I ended up finding a "high school sweetheart" whom I dated for a while. Looking back on the relationship, I am very blessed to have learned the lessons I learned and have experienced the broad range of emotions that come with "young love." Each time you enter a relationship with someone you learn something new. And when that relationship ends, the lessons you've learned contribute to the person you are destined to become.

If you dated a girl for half a year and she dumped you for your best friend what do you do?

First, decide what kind of friend this "best friend" is. Having been in a relationship for 6 months, your feelings should definitely be taken into consideration. Tell your best friend how this makes you feel. If you're not ok with it, or if it hurts you in any way, your best friend should re-think his new girlfriend. Oh, did I fail to mention that a girl who would dump you for your best friend is not worth the 6 months you gave her in the first place? :)

What do you do if your friends think that you act differently around a certain girl that you like, but you feel like you dont?

This is a hard one. As Tara stressed last night, maintaining your individuality is extremely important. A lot of couples break up over the issue of losing whom they are; needing space in order to figure themselves out. If the person that you are dating really cares about you, you shouldn't--under any circumstances--need to behave differently around them. If you're friends think you are behaving differently, take their observation into consideration. You would never want to jeopardize a friendship over something that can easily be remedied.

So are you saying its impossible to break up with someone without hurting them?

In the majority of cases, yes. Scary thought, huh? The truth of the matter is, folks, that in a break-up there is generally always a bad guy. Now please don't misinterpret "bad guy" for the "evil guy." By bad guy I mean the one whom generally initiates the break-up and is the one inflicting the hurt. The person initiating the break-up experiences their own kind of hurt--pain in the fact they are hurting someone they care about. My last relationship was with a guy I had been with for almost 4 years. He wanted to get married, and I didn't see him as the one. Can you imagine how painful that conversation was? I felt like the most horrible person on the planet that day, but I remained true to myself. Looking at where I am now, the person I am in a relationship with now, I know I made the right decisions--even if I had to hurt someone I cared about.

What is your favorite thing to do together?

Darren and I LOVE board games...almost as much as we love the Golden Girls. Sometimes it is the simple things that prove to be the most satisfying.

How did u solve a fight?

Yikes! Boo for fighting, but it does happen. Acknowledging the other person's concerns and anger is a big step. Try and be reasonable by trying to see where they are coming from. Even if you feel they are wrong, viewing things from a different perspective can completely remedy a fight.

For the girls, What is one word that describes your boyfriends?

REMARKABLE

What will happen if you don't have boundaries?

I am telling you this now and I hope that it will save you a lot of problems in the future: NO relationship can survive without boundaries. None, zilch, NADA. Without boundaries your relationship is built upon shifting sand--unable to hold the solid foundation necessary for a healthy relationship that you deserve!

Kendall, how come you dated Darren and not me? - MBG

MBG-- you're the coolest kid on the block and any girl would be lucky to have you (in a few more years)....Did I fail to mention that they have to go through me first? :)

How long have you been a Christian?

I accepted Christ as my personal savior when I was 9 years old.

This is for Kendall. What did you see in Darren when you first met him that made you want to date him?

Darren, Darren, Darren. Someone only needs to spend 10 minutes with him to realize what an amazing person he truly is. His character, his kindness, his goofiness, his compassion for friends and family, and his incredible love of the Lord were only a few things that contributed to me falling head over heels.

Has God sent a message or interfered with your relationship? What if God says he/she is not the one for you but you really think he/she is?

As hard as it may be to accept, if God is telling you the person you are with is not the right one, God is right. Sometimes it may be difficult to accept the things He has planned, but nothing He wants for you is wrong. So if this isn't the person He is telling you to be with, trust in Him that He is telling you in order that He may lead you to the right one.